My Quest to Be Better #1

This is the start of my updates on my last post. I have done a few things and I am feeling pretty good about it all. Well I have looked at so many pictures of Christ now it's just a matter of picking which one we like the most. We are sorting through our wedding photos and getting them ready to be printed. I haven't been awesome with the whole going to bed early and getting up early but there have been a few days where I have gotten up at 5:45 and done scripture study and those have been awesome days.

 I also went and bought the Children's Songbook on CD and we have been listening to them in the car and Elenor loves it. I also bought the Book of Mormon set of Scripture Scouts. If you don't know what this is then you should check out their website here. It is this fun little way of teaching the basic stories of the scriptures to your kids. I remember growing up on these and still remember them word for word. I used to make up little dances to them and I remember all of those as well. Elenor thinks they are funny and she really likes them. And for me I had to call my mother and thank her because not only did they teach me so much when I was little but because I went and bought them I have already had a tender mercy through listening to them. (See below)

When I was listening to the first CD they are covering the story of Nephi and 'Baby' is playing Nephi and Sam. She sings a really sweet song and there were a few lines that just made me want to cry. I love music and how something so simple can touch you and change you so deeply. The song goes like this:

I know I'm a small one, I'm only me. Sometimes I don't do things right. But if I will follow my Father above, I will be strung with his might. Cause, Nothing's too hard for the Lord, for the Lord. Nothing's too hard for the Lord. If he has a job that he wants me to do, it's not hard for me and the Lord.
I can't write my name straight, sometimes I spill. I never can say the right words. But the Lord can do anything, even with me. Cause Nothing's too hard for the Lord. Nothing's too hard for the Lord, for the Lord. Nothing's too hard for the Lord. If he has a job that he wants me to do, it's not hard for me and the Lord.

I'm so excited to see what the Lord is going to do with me. I am relying on him and doing what I can to make sure he really can accomplish ANYTHING, even with me. I love that line. Well that's all for this update, I hope you all have a wonderful day!

Tender Mercies

Lately I've been having a hard time. There have just been little things all compiling at once and I've been struggling. I was feeling depressed and I was feeling overwhelmed with everything I felt I needed to be doing or wanted to do and then I realized something, I am trying to do too much! I know what an easy thing to realize right? Well it wasn't. I think too often there is a stigma within Utah Mormon Moms that we as mothers have to be PERFECT! Well if you think that, then you are INSANE! Yes I said it, those of you that think you have to be perfect (which included me) or those of you that think you are perfect are in fact insane.

Now this insanity can be remedied. All you need to do is realize that you do not need to be perfect, you are wonderful the way you are. This can be very difficult and it was very difficult for me. I sat there just crying over and over about anything and everything wishing I could be better and then getting overwhelmed at the idea of what I needed to do to get better and to reach this point of perfection that I felt was expected of me. And then Heavenly Father so lovingly started to guide me. He guided me through lessons, through friends, through distinct whispering of the spirit and I truly have felt his love for me in the past two weeks. It's been two weeks where at the end of it you know without a doubt that Heavenly Father knows you are there and he knows you individually and he is blessing you with exactly what you need.

I hope if there is anyone out there struggling that you will realize that he is mindful of you, he loves you, and he is there. In the midst of our struggles we don't always see it but pray to him rely on him and you will be blessed in the end. I hope that your moments of peace and love are coming and that you will know of his love for you.

Anyway that was a side tangent but it is also my testimony of this subject. But as I realized I can't be a perfect wife, mother, and woman, I was able to make some real progress and decisions in my life. First off I have decided that I want a stronger influence of the spirit in my home. I want to have the spirit be so strong that you can feel it as you enter. I feel that if I work on that and only that, all of the other things will fall into place. You may think this naive but I think it inspired. I'm not saying there won't be work involved to reach my other goals but I realize that if I really am striving to have the gospel be a constant member of our household the other stuff will be covered. Here are some of the things I am planning on doing:

1. I am going to have a beautiful picture of Jesus in our kitchen which is one of the most frequented rooms in our home.

2. I am going to have many pictures from our wedding in the temple in our Family Room, to remind us of the covenants we made there and the wonderful day that we became a forever family.

3. I deleted all of the quick buttons to the games on my phone. I replaced them all with 'church' apps. I found some really awesome apps and I can already see a difference. I discovered that I truly was ignoring what was important by playing games on my phone. I was doing this because I didn't want to face the things I felt i was failing at. Tender Mercy - I downloaded a scripture a day widget and the first scripture said seek to avoid idleness (deleted apps) and then another one said something along the lines that you will be blessed when striving to live the gospel!

4. I am going to try and have wonderful music in my home. I want to have music be the main source of noise rather than the TV.

5. I am going to start going to bed early and getting up early. I have already noticed a huge difference in my demeanor.

Alright those these are the first five things that I want to work on. I have noticed a difference already just in the few things that I have done. I truly feel that I will be able to accomplish all of the other things so much easier if I can have the spirit be a strong presence in my home. For example just by doing one of the five things listed above I have more energy. I have wanted to clean to invite the spirit even more. I have wanted to be slow to anger and enjoy every second I have with Elenor. I have things that I want to do, but I am realistic and try not to get overwhelmed. I am grateful for the fact that I can take this one day at a time and that I am learning. I am learning how to deal with my own insecurities and learning that where I am at is perfect because I'm trying and I am growing. I'm grateful for a loving Heavenly Father and for the fact he is mindful of me. I'll keep you posted on any other goals as well as how these are going.

Tech Savvy Chicka

Elenor brought over her keyboard and tried to plug the USB into my laptop. She had the right location and everything. She is awesome and smart. I have never plugged a keyboard in there, the most I've done is plugged in a phone charger.

Finding Nemo

Elenor was watching Finding Nemo this morning while eating Goldfish crackers. I found it funny. But my favorite part of this event was when Bruce (the fish friendly shark) starts chasing Marlin and Dori, Elenor stands up on the couch and says, 'uh-oh'. Then at the end of the movie she said, 'uh-oh bye bye.' It was darling and I love my little one.

Milestones to Note From First Half or 2012

Again I'm trying to get caught up. This post will include milestones as well as little fun moments from the first part of this year.

January 13, 2012 - Elenor thinks it is so fun to watch her Dad play Kinect. Especially bowling, for some reason it was incredibly funny to her. She giggles every time he throws the ball.

No Specific Date - Elenor will not keep a hat on or a hair clip in unless we let her see herself in the mirror so she knows how cute she looks. Then she's totally cool with it and leaves them in.

March 7, 2012 - We have a few of those storage ottomans in our living room. Today Nate was vacuuming and moved the box slightly, a very nervous Ele ran over as wuickly as possible to save her remotes that were on top of the box. She removed the lid and hid them inside so the vacuum couldn't get them. Our baby is awesome!

April 9, 2012 - Listening to pandora's workout mix. Ele had been dancing and her two favorites have both been Ke$ha. Interesting... :) (follow-up - Ele will only let us listen to Blow in the car she has even started singing along. After awhile I thought I was going to loose my mind. we finally have been able to expand our babies taste in music)

April 23, 2012 - I love that my 17 month old reminds me to bless the food when we sit down for lunch. She's cute. (This made me feel like I was doing a better job than I thought. Thank you for tender mercies I needed to think I was doing a good job today)

May 6, 2012 - Ele had her first day of nursery. She loved it and they loved her... It was oddly undettling for me. Two hours of baby free church, I didn't have to multi-task. Oh and she had no problem just hanging out playing the full time, no visits to mommy. (update - She now doesn't like the being dropped off part unless Daddy does it. If I go she cries and I have to sneak out.)

May 10, 2012 - 18 Month stats: 8th % across the boards! She has grown so much, I can't believe how big she is now. She also is AHEAD on all developmental milestones. She is twice the length of when she was born (31 in), and ten times the weight (20 lbs). So crazy!

May 25, 2012 - Ele now takes off her pants and diaper and runs into the bathroom saying, 'potty'. how does potty training seem like such fun to my 19 month old? (Update - now she just wants to go in there every time I do. She sits on her potty, fully clothed, makes her poop noise and asks for toilet paper. She then pretends to wipe and puts it in the big toilet so it can be flushed away.

June 6, 2012 - Elenor is obsessed with clothes. She loves anything pink and cries if we pass by baby clothes without letting her look at them. (Update: she now also really loves her clothes at home. When she first wakes up each morning she points into her closet and say, 'dress' and then I ask her which one she wants and she will tell me if I pick the wrong one.)

No Specific Date - Elenor talks and signs like crazy. Seriously this girl is getting pretty good at communicating. In fact just the other day she told Nate, 'I need more.' In regards to a smoothie they were sharing. I also went to my sisters house and when I told her to say goodbye she said. 'Bye bye Aunt Sarah, Aunt Anna.' I didn't tell her to say their names or anything. She has also started saying sorry this month. and she will give sorry hugs. She understands wait (to a point) and when we tell her to wait she'll sign it and be alright for a little bit. She can ask for all sorts of food whether it's in sign, talking or both. And it truly helps. Also this month she woke up and when I opened her door she pointed at her name sign on her door (it's the same one from the NICU) and said, 'Elenor' it was darling!