My Quest to Be Better #2

Well things are still going well but not as well as I would like. Isn't that always the case? I think once we start gaining momentum of any kind Satan tries to slap us in the face as hard as he can. And sometimes he slaps kind of hard over and over again.

I have been a rock star wife with keeping my house clean this past week. I mean I kept it clean, and I even baby sat twice for two different families that each had two kids. So three kids in my house two out of the five days this week and it was still clean. I stayed up on the dishes and I was feeling really good about myself. (I still am about this) But then Satan decided that I needed some slaps...

Slap #1 - This one I feel was the hardest slap) Elenor went down for a nap and when she woke up Nate went in to get her. Well apparently sometime before she fell asleep she pooped in her diaper, proceeded to pull the poop out of her diaper and rub it on her dress and all of her legs. Not to mention the poop that was already ALL over her hands and arms. There are pictures that I will upload once they are on my computer. I go upstairs and being the mom that I am I don't even hesitate. It's bath time. So while Nate starts a load of laundry, I start soaking my baby so I can clean off all of the poop. Let's just say there is a reason why we naturally love our children SO much right from the beginning. So when they are covered with poop we can still think they are cute, and really be mad. I feel I handled it well but through the bath I could feel my frustration mount every time Elenor would splash some of the poop water on me or when I was trying to make sure all of the poop chunks were gone so we could give her the actual bath and she decided it was the perfect time to bed over and try and get her hair wet... In The Poop Water!

Slap #2 - When you start to clean your house or think of all the things you need to deep clean do you sometimes feel overwhelmed? I hope so because I hope I'm not alone in this feeling. As I started to think about all of the things that would now need to be scrubbed because of this poop incident I was so overwhlemed i wanted to cry. I realized that even though I had done well on my dishes and on my living room there is always just so much more. And there fore I started to seriously put myself down. This will not invite the spirit like I want but also my house may not be inviting the spirit right now. So Satan got me he got me to tear myself down A LOT! But then I was sent a wonderful little reminder of his love for me.

There apparently is a weekly topic on KSL called Motherhood Matters. I was drawn to the article because it was comparing Motherhood to being a Quarterback. She talked about how everyone relies on the quarterback and we are supposed to know all of the plays and be able to read the opponent and make a plan that will help our family beat them (schedules, homework, etc) But that sometimes a quarterback needs to call an audible. There is an unexpected change in the defense and we have to read it and make our best decision possible. Yell out the new play and hope for the best. But because of our knowledge we have a great shot of making the right call especially for out own families. Well I didn't mention that the poop fiasco happened twenty minutes before Elenor had a doctor's appointment. I called an audible and handled everything well. I am capable of getting it done when it comes to my family. I read the defense and I made the right call. Anyway if you want to read more of her stuff I really like it. Her website is called MOMentity.

Slap #3 - I was hit with a wave of exhaustion that has seriously wiped me out. I'm about to have a visit from Aunto Flo and have been on the verge of massive exhaustion already so combine the two and all I want to do is sleep. I have wanted to sleep more than I have wanted anything, including keeping up on my house. And because I have been choosing sleep I am put right back into that guilt cycle of feeling like I'm not doing enough. Top that off with a screaming toddler who is teething, wants more than anything to sit on her princess toilet even though she refuses to actually go to the bathroom on it. Well Thanks Satan for the triple slap but I am ready for a break from the slaps for now.

So in another sweet answer to my own fears and shortcomings I found this blog post from MOMentity. It says what I am feeling far better than I could. Man I really have to find a way to realize that not being perfect is really just so amazing. So here's to my imperfect form of mothering that Heavenly Father has decided is exactly the kind of parenting Elenor needs. I'm so glad that my form of imperfection is just right for her. I will be the perfect mom for her as long as I am trying and that's really awesome to think of it in that context.